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Will God Bless a Second Marriage?

Reviewed by Karis A. Williams, MSMHC, LPC

Many people who sought to live a life honoring to God.  But because nothing this side of Heaven is perfect, some people have found themselves divorced, often through no fault of their own.  They did everything they could to make the marriage work.  But unfortunately, a marriage cannot be held together with just one person.

So, will God bless a second marriage when you find yourself facing the possibility of marriage again?  God will absolutely bless a second marriage if you honored Him in your first marriage to the best of your human ability.  But there are some warnings and some conditions. Let’s look at all of the extenuating circumstances surrounding this answer.

But before we begin, I want to mention that many answers regarding the questions of whether God will bless a second marriage are based on what the various churches around the world agree with or will allow.  I have removed the “middle man” and gone straight to what God says in the Scriptures.  Unfortunately, many churches, especially those that support patriarchy, will allow a man (or even woman) to abuse, cheat on, and abandon a spouse and force the victim spouse to stay married because they believe that “God hates divorce.” While God absolutely hates divorce, he even more hates what spouses do to destroy the covenant of marriage long before the divorce.

And with that in mind, let’s take a look at how God will bless a second marriage.

Exactly What God Said About Second Marriage

While there aren’t extensive words from God regarding second marriage, He does have a few things to say.  Those things mostly cover what He wanted people to know in a day when men were throwing their wives away just because they wanted something more appealing, not because their wives had done anything worthy of divorce.  So God granted them divorce based on their hardness of heart.  I think He didn’t mention other grounds for divorce because He expected we would automatically know what those were.  The example I love to give is that God never says attempted murder is grounds for divorce.  Why would He have to?  I think abuse and other big reasons are also not necessary for God to point to as valid.

Unfortunately, there are many churches today that use God’s silence in the big grounds for divorce as not worthy grounds.  It is very unfortunate because it encourages an abusive spouse to continue to abuse and turn the haven of home into a toxic environment.  All while the abusive spouse continues to claim to be doing the work of God.  If you are a spouse that feels oppressed in your marriage and your church is not supporting your safety, FIND ANOTHER CHURCH!

Here are a few more articles that can help you sort all of this out:

God Will Bless a Second Marriage if You Honored Him in Your First

There are a whole lot of people in the world that find themselves divorced even though they did all they could for the good of the marriage.  That doesn’t mean they didn’t do anything wrong themselves.  But there are many reasons that they may have ended up there.  Here are a few:

  • Their spouse cheated on them.
  • They were abused.  This can be physically, sexually, psychologically, emotionally, or financially.  Often, the victim doesn’t realize this for many years, if not decades.
  • They were abandoned. This doesn’t just mean that a spouse left his family to live a new life.  It can also mean that he didn’t take proper care of his family.  He may be very present with them, but controlling or abusive in ways that it would almost be better if he did just leave.
  • Their spouse is not a believer.  This includes a spouse who professes to be a Christian, but does not repent or acknowledge that harm that he is doing to their spouse or family.  1 Timothy 5:8 says, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

None of these situations involved both parties’ sin.  Unless both parties separately sinned in these ways.  Because all of these reasons for divorce are from a single party, God does not punish the victim in the marriage.  If you did what you could to keep the marriage vow, you are not held to that marriage upon divorce.

In all of these cases and more (the Bible doesn’t speak about divorce because of attempted murder, likely because Jesus didn’t think He had to specifically mention something so obvious), God releases you from marriage.  And in those cases, He will bless a second marriage because He knows that the covenant or marriage was not broken by you.

God Will Bless a Second Marriage if you are Widowed

There are tons of verses in the Bible that say widows can remarry as long as they marry another believer.  1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”  All of the other verses are along the same line.  Here are some:

Romans 7:3  “Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.”

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

1 Timothy 5:14 “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”

1 Timothy 5:9 “Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband,”

The last two verses are interesting because they add criteria that the other verses don’t.  They say first that younger widows should remarry.  The idea is that in that day, younger women had no ability to care for themselves.  They would become a burden to their family, neighbors, or community.  While that isn’t necessarily bad, they are young enough to be productive homemakers.  And they would be widowed for a very long time.  It is better for them to have a lifelong companion.

On the flip side, widows aged 60 and older are expected to not remarry, but to enter into ministry for the church.  They would be expected to care for the sick, other elderly people, and train younger women in homemaking, raising children, making money, and other life experiences.

Certainly, the gist of all of these verses is that God will bless a second marriage for widowed people.

A man sitting on a porch with the faded image of his wife by his side with her hand on his back, showing love. This is representative of a widow remembering his wife. This represents the title of the article, "Will God Bless a Second Marriage?"

God Will Bless a Second Marriage if Your Ex is not a Believer

There are scriptures that directly address getting married after being married to someone who turned out to  not be a believer.  Let’s take a look at what they say regarding unbelievers first.

1 Corinthians 7:15  “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.”

2 Corinthians 6:14  “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

Deuteronomy 24:4  “Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.”

Malachi 2:14  “But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

Malachi 2:15  “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.”

Malachi 2:16  “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Notice in the last three verses, all from Malachi, that God says the man that puts his wife away is faithless.  It does not matter if he professes faith or not.  God has found him faithless for breaking the covenant of his marriage and ruining his wife’s life and future.

There are a whole lot of men out there today (my ex included) that continue to trick people into thinking they are still God’s right hand man while they have grievously and unrepentantly destroyed their marriages and families.  It is hard to watch when the people in their new life take it all in, thinking they are so godly, when in reality they are not believers at all.  They just know all the right words to say to fool everyone into believing their mask of Christianity.  But God knows.  And He has our back after all we  have been through.

Will God Bless a Second Marriage if Your Ex Committed Adultery

Adultery may be the one instance of justifiable divorce/remarriage that is most discussed in Scripture.  Let’s take a look at some of those verses.

Matthew 19:9 “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Matthew 5:32  “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Proverbs 6:32 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”

In the case of adultery, the victim of the adulterer is free to remarry because they were not responsible for breaking the marriage covenant/vows.  Here are the verses that speak directly to that.

Matthew 19:9 “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Jeremiah 3:8 says,”She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.”  This is speaking about the fact that God himself divorced His chosen people.  Then in the New Testament, Jesus speaks about returning for His bride, as He is the Bridegroom.  He is remarrying those who will stay true and loyal to him and not “commit adultery” in the spiritual sense.  It is the perfect justification for godly grounds for divorce and remarriage.

The Matthew 19:9 passage above heavily implies the appropriateness of remarriage after being the victim of adultery because of the marries another clause.  It says that it is wrong except for adultery, at least in the direct situation Jesus was talking about at that moment.

A couple sitting on a bench near a lake. They are in each other's arms, except that the man is holding another woman's hand behind his wife's back, showing adultery. This picture represents being allowed to remarry by God. The title of the article is "Will God Bless a Second Marriage."

Will God Bless a Second Marriage if You Divorced in Sin and Later Repented?

The answer to this is a resounding yes–if you have truly repented.  Divorce, and even adultery, are not unpardonable sins.  The only unpardonable sin is refusing the call of the Holy Spirit to a life of godliness and devotion to God.

God also knows that the world we live in is full of sin and evil.  And sometimes His children find themselves in situations that they never thought they would be in.  I know that I never in a million years thought that I would end up in a 30+ year abusive marriage that ended with my husband divorcing me for another person.  Nobody, especially not Christians who love and serve the Lord, would ever expect to find themselves in that life.

What I do know is that God has used my life and my divorce to help minister to thousands of hurting people around the world.  I would never have understood the pain of families going through all of this if I hadn’t experienced it myself.  And I would never have even thought of having a ministry in this area had I not lived it.  While I know God would never put me in the position I ended up in “just because,”  I do know that he will use the evil of this world to bring about good.  That’s what he promised to Joseph in Genesis.  And He has made good on that throughout history.

Conclusion

While I have showed you many verses about how God will bless a second marriage, there are so many more, literally enough to write a whole book!  God believes in second chances for those who are oppressed in this world, but also for those who have sinned and fully repented.

What has your experience been?  How has God brought you through it?  Are you still working your way out of the dark tunnel?  Know that God has you, even if you don’t feel Him there!  Speak to a friend or two who can help you see it if you don’t!

I would love for you to share your experiences here in the comments section or contact me here if you need more privacy.

Hugs and love,


If you found this article valuable, I think you will also love the following articles:

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12 Ways the Church Helps Narcissists Abuse Their Victims

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Marie
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Marie

Hi! I am the founder of Navigating Religious Narcissism after being raised under a narcissistic mother and married to a narcissistic man for 31 years. It is my prayer that I can be as valuable on your journey to healing and peace as were so many who crossed my path of healing.

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