Once you begin to come out of the fog and realize you have been dealing with a narcissist, whether it is a spouse, family member, coworker or boss, or other relationship, you can suddenly feel as though God has deserted you. You may wonder where God has been in all of this, especially if you are a devout Christian that has tried to follow the will of God throughout your lifelong decisions. You prayed for guidance, wisdom and God’s leadership in your decisions. So, how did you get here, and what do you do going forward? You may be asking, “Will God protect me from a narcissist?”
As a general rule, God will protect you from a narcissist. But it doesn’t just happen. You need to know what He says about narcissism and how to deal with narcissists in Scripture. Then you need to proactively guard yourself and your loved ones from the narcissist. Finally, you will more clearly see how God protects you from a narcissist in any part of your life.
Let’s take a closer look at the details. First, we will look at how God will protect you from a narcissist, regardless of the relationship. Then we will look at ways that God will not protect you.
Table of Contents
How Will God Protect me from a Narcissist?
God will protect you from a narcissist in several ways. First, in Scripture, God gives you specific guidance on how to deal with people who behave like narcissists. While the Bible may not use the word narcissist, it certainly describes the characteristics of narcissists as well as how to handle them when you find yourself in any relationship with them.
Second, God will put people in your path that protect you from the narcissist’s attacks and evil intentions. You will often be very surprised at where these supportive people (or maybe even angels unaware) pop up!
Third, God will protect you from a narcissist by showing you ways to be emotionally healthy enough to successfully fend off the attacks of the narcissist.
Let’s unpack each one of these ways that show how God will protect you from a narcissist.
God Will Protect me from a narcissist by Describing Narcissists’ Behavior and Telling me How to Avoid It
God gives us so many examples of narcissists and narcissism in the Bible. He tells us stories of narcissists, like Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel, Absalom, Satan himself, and even the Pharisees that Jesus dealt with.
Check out this short bonus video about how Jesus dealt with narcissists:
But God doesn’t just give us some examples of narcissists and their bad behavior. He also gives us examples of their bad behavior and tells us what to do about it. Here are some Scriptures that are an instruction manual of sorts for narcissists and how to deal with them:
2 Timothy 3:1-9 is probably the most prominent narcissist passage. It says, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; 9 but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was.”
Notice that it says when you encounter these people you are to turn away from them. Don’t get caught up in the narcissist’s web!
Romans 16:17-19 says, “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.”
There are hundreds more Scriptures that talk about narcissists and how to deal with them. You can check out more about this in my articles about Scriptural Ways to Deal with a Narcissistic Husband, How to Biblically Deal With a Narcissistic Parent, What Words Does the Bible Use for Narcissists and Narcissism, What Does the Bible Say About Gaslighting, and What Does the Bible Say About Abusive Husbands?
Besides biblical sources for ways that God will protect us from a narcissist, there are many really good books and articles available. You can check all of my articles for help on nearly every aspect of narcissism. And for many more resources on how to biblically handle narcissism, check out these resources. These are nearly all of the ones that were instrumental in my own healing and have helped thousands of others that I have worked with since.
God Will Protect me from a Narcissist by Putting Perfect People in my Path to Protect Me
Well, if that isn’t the perfect example of alliteration, then nothing is! And it wasn’t even intentional! Anyway, let’s get back to the point.
While you would expect your pastor, counselor, and trusted friends to support you and protect you from a narcissist (if they don’t, then you need to go elsewhere to find that support!), you will be amazed at how many other people God will put in your path to support you. Here are some of the ones that supported me through the process, either verbally or with supportive actions to help me through my very contentious divorce:
- The court clerk when I filed my counter claim.
- The customer service lady on the phone at the power company.
- The ID clerk on base who processed my new military ID.
- My kids’ guardian-ad-litem, who was appointed to protect them and did an amazing job.
You will find them everywhere too! I loved how they supported me and knew even though I never told them what was going on! I only told them why I was speaking with them and what I needed. They could tell by the situation what was really going on because my ex was extremely cruel in how he treated his family.
My best advice for you after experiencing all of this is to limit what you share with others. They don’t need to know what your narcissist did/does to you. Unless you are talking to your counselor, a close friend, or other person who is on a need-to-know basis and can personally help you.
God Will Protect Me From a Narcissist by Showing me ways to Become Emotionally Healthy
God protects us from narcissists by guiding us in becoming emotionally and physically healthy. And just like the other points, He guides us both with scripture and with resources that people create to help us as well. Let’s start with a few scriptures, then I will go over some of the materials that helped me the most in finding my emotional freedom and maturity.
Verses that Show God Will Protect Me From a Narcissist Through Emotional Maturity
Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Note: this verse does not mean that you should be soft spoken to the point of letting people run over you. It means that you answer gently and with wisdom. It puts the ball in the other person’s court as to whether they will handle things well or not from there. But it’s counterpoint is that if you respond in anger and demand, you will not win anyone over with your words. You are always to respect the other person, even if they don’t respond respectfully to you. You can only control your own behavior.
1 Corinthians 14:20 “Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature.”
1 Corinthians 1:17-18a “17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you,”
1 Corinthians 3:1-3 “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?”
Ephesians 4:22-23 “that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,”
2 Thessalonians 1:3 “We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater;”
2 Peter 3:17-18 “You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.”
In addition to these verses, there are tons more! If I added everything here, you would be reading a book instead of an article. What you can do is read through the Psalms and Proverbs. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs, so you could do one for each day. You can also read several Psalms each day. Both books have a large amount to say about living a good life and being emotionally mature and healthy.
You can also read all of the Pauline and other epistles (letters) in the New Testament. Those are Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Corinthians, 1 & 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus, James, and 1,2, & 3 John. They are all guides to living better life.
Resources that Show God Will Protect me From a Narcissist Through Emotional Maturity
The first thing I want to say about this is that if you have a counselor who says that they believe you can only be counseled according to the Bible alone, move on from them. Yes, the Bible has a wealth of knowledge. But it was not meant to be a handbook on your physical, psychological, or emotional health.
God has provided us with the ability to learn about these fields and make great progress in health issues. If you have a headache, you don’t go to the Bible to look for help. You get some rest or medication that is known to stop the pain in your head. In the same way, God does not expect us to use the Bible to solve our emotional problems, other than in our day to day service to Him, which will improve our health in addition to using the earthly resources available to us.
And with that, here are the resources that helped me the most when I was at my lowest. I know they have helped thousands of others. I am confident they will help you too! Check them all out; they are in no particular order because I honestly would not be able to tell you which ones are better than others. They are all amazing!
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzaro
This book was the first book that was recommended to me (and my then husband) when we started counseling many years ago. He refused and didn’t want me to read it either. Very telling. Once I did rediscover it and read it, it was beyond amazing. It opened up a whole new world to me that I had no idea existed. (Actually, I can say the same for the rest of the books on my short list, which is why I so highly recommend them!)
The subtitle of this book says, “It’s impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining spiritually immature.” That alone tells you how good this book is going to be. It shows you how to come out of the fog that you have likely been in that you had no idea until you started reading this book. It is the perfect example of you don’t know what you don’t know.
There is a workbook available for this book. It came out about 3 years after I read the book. If I do it as a study with my support groups, I plan to get the workbook. I think that it would be the icing on the cake to have an excellent workbook for a pretty much perfect book!
You can check it all out here:
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
This is probably my most recommended book, both throughout this website and in all of my local support groups. It is that perfect.
Leslie begins by giving you a test of sorts to figure out if you are in a difficult marriage or a destructive one. Upon finding out what your specific situation is, she then gives you the tools for whatever scenario you are facing: in a destructive marriage and staying, in a destructive marriage and leaving, or in a difficult marriage and staying. She does this by first teaching you the 4 C.O.R.E. principles. They are as follows:
C – I will be committed to truth, both internally in my own heart and mind and externally. I refuse to pretend.
O – I will be open to the Holy Spirit and wise others, teaching me, maturing me, and guiding me into his way of living my life.
R – I will be responsible for my own responses to destructive behavior and commit to being respectful without dishonoring myself.
E – I will be empathic and compassionate toward others without enabling people to continue to abuse and disrespect me.
In a response to a follower, she goes on to say, “When you know and believe that you are a loved, valuable, worthwhile human being and live from that core place, toxic people lose their power to manipulate you. They can’t control and intimidate you as they once did when you felt worthless, dependent and needy.”
Once you read this book and implement the C.O.R.E. principles, you will be amazed at how different you feel and see the world! She has two versions of her book: one for marriages and one for all other relationships. You can find out more here:
If you get any or all of these books, they will put you in a totally different mindset and change your world forever for the better! You will be so glad you got them. I know I was and still use them as references to this day.
How Will God NOT Protect me from a Narcissist?
God will not protect your from your narcissist if you do not take steps to protect yourself and your loved ones. There is a phrase (not to be confused with an actual verse in the Bible) that says God helps those who help themselves. While it is usually said in a very tongue-in-cheek way, it actually has a very valid truthfulness to it. You have to pick yourself up, God will sustain you! And He will probably help pull you up while you are still pushing your way through.
Here are the ways that God will not protect you from your narcissist:
- God will not protect you from a narcissist while you are seeking revenge or retaliation.
- God will not protect you from a narcissist if you are not actively seeking your own healing.
- God will not protect you from a narcissist if you are seeking to destroy your narcissist.
- God will not protect you from a narcissist if you are not protecting yourself and your loved ones from him.
God will absolutely be there for you. I am still amazed at all He has done for me. But I didn’t get everything all the time. God is not our magical genie. But He will look out for you in all the ways He knows you need it. That isn’t to say my ex didn’t get a few benefits himself. He scored pretty big in the financial settlement because I was focused on the safety of my children in custody court. He took full advantage of that. But he will have to live with how he has shortchanged his family instead of taking care of them. And he will have to answer to God for that someday. In the meantime, God has my back!
Have you seen the hand of God protecting you and/or your loved ones through a difficult journey? Was it surprising to you? Did you find great comfort in His help? I would love to hear your story, even (or especially) if you are in the midst of chaos right now. And know that even in the midst of chaos, God truly is with you. Psalm 23:4-6 says:
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord