In the nationally recognized DivorceCare program that I lead at my church, there is a tongue-in-cheek moment in the first video session where one lady speaks about her desire for her ex-husband to be “hit by a bus.” I promise, the program is NOT about revenge or bad things happening to our exes. But it IS about our healing in one of the most difficult experiences in this life. While it is not ours to determine how narcissists in our life pay for how they have treated those around them, what actually happens to narcissists in the afterlife? Do they meet with the consequences of their actions on Earth?
There is no physical scientific evidence of what happens to narcissists in the afterlife. But all faith-based communities have beliefs on the subject. They believe what happens to narcissists in the afterlife is based on whether they recognized and turned from the evil they had done to others over their lifetime. If they turn away from their narcissistic ways, then it is believed they will be in Heaven to live an eternal life of peace and prosperity. But if they continue in their narcissism to the end of their life, they will instead face eternal judgment in Hell.
For those of us who have loved ones who are narcissistic, this can be a concerning thought. So let’s take a closer look at the details.
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Is Narcissism an Unforgivable Sin?
The answer to whether narcissism is an unforgivable sin is an emphatic no! According to the Bible, there is only one unforgivable sin, and that is rejecting the leading of the Holy Spirit. Here are three passages from the Bible that reinforce that belief:
Matthew 12:31-32 “31 And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.”
Mark 3:28-29 “28 Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, 29 but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.”
Hebrews 6:4-6 “4 It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5 who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age 6 and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.”
So basically, these Scriptures confirm that there is virtually no sin so severe that God cannot forgive someone who truly repents from the bottom of their heart, with the exception of rejecting God Himself. In light of this, narcissism is a forgivable sin, but many narcissists will not ever ask for forgiveness or show a need for salvation from their sin of narcissism, thus rejecting the influence of the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness of God.
Do you wonder what narcissists think about death, especially as they near the end of their life? Look at this short video:
What Would it Take for a Narcissist to Change Their Ways and Make Things Right?
The biggest problem with narcissists not being able to recognize how wrong their behavior is, seek forgiveness from God and those they have wronged, and turn from their narcissistic behavior is that they refuse to think they have done anything wrong. And if anyone tries to confront them about offenses they feel the narcissist has committed against them, the narcissist will deny, deflect, gaslight, and lie about it. He will never admit to his behavior or motives unless he is cornered with no choice. And often even with definitive proof, he will still deny the narcissism to the end just because he stays committed to the lie.
One factor that determines whether or not narcissists will recognize their behavior and make positive changes is when a narcissist falls on the lower end of the narcissism spectrum. The lower on the spectrum a narcissist is, the more easily they can see the error of their ways and make corrections.
But for those that rank much higher on the scale, indicating full blown Narcissistic Personality disorder over just narcissistic tendencies, the hope of getting them to acknowledge their narcissism will be virtually impossible. And as narcissists age, they tend to dig into their narcissism even deeper. For many older narcissists, there is just no turning back. I have a few articles that go deeper into aging narcissists. For more on how to defend yourself against an aging narcissist, click here. For more information on the aging male narcissist, click here. And finally, for more information on the aging female narcissist, click here.
Are Narcissists Demon Possessed?
Many people believe that what happens to narcissists in the afterlife is not good because they believe they may be demon possessed. This is a pretty interesting theory! It is also a very scary thought if you are trying to navigate your way through a relationship with a narcissist.
Here is what I think about the whole narcissist-demon possession thing after doing quite a bit of research on it. I do not believe it is a narcissist-specific issue. I believe that some narcissists can be demon possessed, just like some non-narcissists can be.
What I believe is that those narcissists that allow the influence of Satan to become dominant in their life are at the very least trapped under demonic influence at the very least. Many people believe this because the narcissist playbook is so similar throughout worldwide culture as well as history. While the Bible doesn’t use the word narcissism, it certainly talks a whole lot about it.
And I do also believe that some narcissists are indeed demon possessed. But I believe that is the exception and not the rule. I really think that most narcissists are poor souls who were so abused and neglected early in their lives that they were not able to become normally functioning members of society. That is one of the saddest things in this world to realize.
I have an extensive article that talks about narcissists and demon influence versus demon possession. You can access that article by clicking here. You will find this article fascinating as it details what people see in narcissists that leads them to believe they are demon possessed.
Can Narcissists Be Christian?
Most people don’t want to make a judgment call on whether someone is a Christian or not. We want to believe that everyone who professes faith in Christ is actually a true follower of Christ. Unfortunately, there are many who walk around in church that are merely imposters and not true Christians. But how would we know?
While we cannot know just based on someone claiming it or not, there are many verses in the Bible that say your behavior will confirm whether your words are truthful or not. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.
- James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
- James 2:17 “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”
- Titus 1:16 “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”
- 1 John 3:17-18 “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
- James 2:14-18 “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.”
Now that we have an idea of what God considers a true Christian–someone whose actions match their words–we can see why it would be hard to consider a narcissist to be Christian. Their actions almost never match their words. While they profess the love of God, they lie, cheat, steal, gaslight, manipulate, and otherwise terrorize their victims. And when confronted, they continue to lie, blame-shift, and otherwise try to sidestep the issue.
Where do Religious Narcissists Fit in to the Debate?
Religious narcissists are just the same as the regular garden variety narcissist. Except that they use religious thought and ideas to control and abuse those around them. They use God to to control and manipulate people by convincing them that they are close “besties.” And they use religion to gain people’s trust, making them think that the narcissist is an honest, kind, upstanding citizen in the community.
Often religious narcissists will gain positions of leadership in the church and community at large, giving them a false reputation as an amazing person while being able to abuse and manipulate great numbers of people in isolation and rarely getting discovered, often for many years.
When people start to realize what is really going on and the narcissist’s world begins to unravel, he will move on to a new life. Often, he gets glowing reviews to move on because the current world he lives in just wants him to be gone. Or because they can’t quite put their finger on why the narcissistic religious leader didn’t work out.
But God is not fooled. And even when the narcissist thinks they can fool God with their words, He knows their heart. And they will pay for the deception. Here are some scriptures that show what God thinks about these kinds of people:
- Matthew 7:15 ““Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
- Matthew 7:21-23 ““Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
- Matthew 15:8 “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;”
- Matthew 23:27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.”
- Romans 16:17-18 “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”
- 2 Corinthians 11:13-15 “For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.”
- 2 Timothy 3:5 “Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”
- James 1:26 “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”
- Revelation 21:8 “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
What is the Ultimate Fate of Most Narcissists?
For people who live a life of faith, the ultimate fate of most narcissists will be an eternity of punishment. But honestly, this does not give most people a sense of satisfaction or happiness. Nobody wants to see another person suffer an eternity in a lake of fire or other scenario of Hell.
There is nothing that a loved one can do to make the narcissist repent and turn to a truly godly life. We can all only be responsible for ourselves. But we can pray for them. And we can gently tell them that without repentance they cannot really be a child of God. It will not necessarily end well for you (my ex would tell me I had no right to judge his heart), but if it gets them to actually think about their spiritual state, then maybe it is worth them ridiculing what you tell them out of concern and love for them.
Christians, Jews, and Muslims all believe that vengeance on those who do evil to us does not belong to us, but to God. And while few of us really want God to exercise that vengeance over a restored and healed person, it is a good thing for us to realize that God will do what is just in the end. We don’t have to worry, be bitter, or fret over all that has happened or what will happen. We just need to keep ourselves safe and pray for those that we cannot reach on our own.
Ross Rosenberg is an amazing expert in the field of narcissism. He speaks about the unshakeable fear that narcissists have as they reach the end of their life. You can check it out right here:
What happens to narcissists in the afterlife cannot be a good thing if they never make things right with those who they have targeted. And because of the deep hidden shame they feel, most will never be able to come to a good place before God. It is one of the most tragic things that can happen on this earth. How unfortunate that narcissists may be the ultimate victims because their parents and bad genetics gave them such a terrible start in life.
My prayers are with narcissists throughout the world, that somehow God would reach them in a way that they could escape the Hell on Earth that they have already experienced and keeps them from doing what could heal them so well.
Have you tried to reach your narcissist? Were you able to break through, at least momentarily? How do you pray for your narcissist? I would love to hear your story. And our readers would love to hear it to as they are struggling through their own experiences. Please feel free to share below or if you are not safe to comment publicly, change your username to prevent being identified! Or contact me privately here.
Hugs and love to you,
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