Once someone realizes they are in relationship with a narcissist, the first thing they think is what did they do to cause this? Unfortunately, someone doesn’t have to do something wrong to be tied to a narcissist. It could be as simple as they were nice to the narcissist when nobody else was. So they became that narcissist’s source of supply. But often, people attract narcissists, especially long-term because they are not emotionally healthy enough to see the red flags of narcissism that the narcissist shows, secretly or overtly. And often the victim of narcissism is the victim because they have codependent tendencies and do not recognize that they relate to the narcissist in unhealthy ways, allowing the abuse.
So how do you answer the question, “Am I codependent?” You can take this free quiz with instant results to give you a much better idea.
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What Exactly do we Mean by Codependent?
According to Merriam Webster, the definition of codependency is a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another often controlling or manipulative person. Often, a codependent person feels as though they are behaving normally. They desire to be helpful to everyone under every circumstance. And so they will sacrfiice for the good of others, to the detriment of their own health and wellbeing.
When a codependent enters a relationship with a narcissist, they feel a need to be extremely helpful to the narcissist. They continue to be helpful, over time doing everything they can to avoid rocking the boat. Eventually, they practically give up their own independence in order to be everything to the narcissist. Getting themselves back can be a long and difficult road.
What do Codependent Behaviors Look Like?
So, now that we know what codependency is, what are some examples of codependent behavior? Here are some to get you started:
- Someone who is consumed by what others think about them.
- Someone whose behaviors are based on what others think of them and a fear that they will not approve.
- They perceive their worth on what people think of them or how they are judged by others.
- They are compelled more by others needs than their own.
- They fear others will not accept them if they make even a single small mistake or say something wrong.
- They fear someone will see them being less than perfect.
I think you get the idea by now. A person who struggles with codependency is someone who places their whole worth in other’s opinions instead of their true value. The let people’s impressions of them drive their behavior, often to the detriment of their own needs. And they will do anything to prevent causing an upset.
The Codependency Test
Has this happened to you on some level? You can get a good idea after answering these 25 questions. They are easy to answer, don’t overthink them. Just answer yes or no based on your first thought after reading the question. As soon as you finish, you will be able to instantly see the results, no email or action required. But, if you want to share with me after or have questions, feel free to contact me here.
This quiz is not a substitute for a professional diagnosis, but is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only. It can give you a good idea that can help you to help yourself, with counseling, talk therapy, or many other ways to learn to relate to others in more healthy ways.
So with that, let’s begin!
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